We fail, We rise

I notice as time goes on and I get older, I have surrounded myself with the wrong people.

Those who believe that being authentically yourself is completely radical.

To experience change openly is reviled.

To seek amends for your wrong doings is often shut down.

It’s more likely to be talked about than talked to.

It’s unforgiving to make mistakes.

If you trigger someone near you- surely, you must be the reason for the trigger and not just the tip of the iceberg.

If someone tells a story about another, then surely they must always be right a true.

If you recall clearly speaking in one manner, you are truly a narcissist if you defend your speech.

However when you realize you messed up, the door is always shut tight with your name smeared in blood.

By speaking about my suffering from my past, I have attracted those who have suffered,

By speaking about a need for change, I have attracted those who put me on a pedestal.

Please, don’t.

Take me off.

Rather, I’ll leap off of the plith for you.

I’d rather live in a sea of individuals than be revered as a purely good.

I’m not good nor a saint.

I’m not bad nor a devil.

I am simply a human being.

I feel and I feel all over, spilling into my everyday.

I fail and I fail all over, melting into my dismay.

I try and I try all over, until I’m finally satisfied.

Yet I’m never fully satisfied.

My silly little brain lives off of the opinions of others.

No one likes a funny girl, or a blunt girl, or a gentle girl, or an angry girl, or a girl with a thought, or a girl without thought.

This war on honest people- let alone honest women, and I am on the front lines.

Screaming the truth is on my lips, you just fail to ask for it.

Screaming that I am a better woman now, but no one agrees.

Because if my thoughts be different than yours- I’m evil.

If my opinions challenge your ego- I’m wretched.

If my neutrality endangers your extremism- burn me at the stake.

Let me be. Let me fail. Let me rise.